PRE-WEDDING MEETING Rev. Mike Jones
PRE MARRIAGE SPIRITUAL LESSONS:
Marriage Foundations:
1) Heart Hunger: God created you and the greatest need in your heart is a relationship with God. Marriage will satisfy your flesh but it will not fill the place in your heart that only God can fill. A relationship with a person can never be completely satisfying unless it involves a relationship with God.
2) Desire‑ God saw there was a desire in man for human companionship so He created a Help Mate for man- And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18). And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:22-25).
Two Become One- For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). ( Very Important: See "Termites" below)
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Eccl 4:9-12)
Two are not Ashamed of One: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Marriage exposes parts and personalities to another person in a way that no one else should ever see. Trust is one of the most vital parts of a relationship.
Two must be willing to Sacrifice for the other One- Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25) Love is not Lust. Love is Sacrifice and Sharing.
Termites in the House: 3 major problems can impact every marriage:
1) In‑Laws- Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Be careful of Measuring your spouse by in-laws, of Meddling in your marriage by in-laws (No matter how well intentioned), and of Threatening to return to in-laws.
2) Money- Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife (Proverbs 17:1). Money matters- Obtaining it, spending it, and saving it. Be careful of yearning for other people's possessions or popularity- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's (Exodus 20:17).
3) Sex - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (Regularity). (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Couples need to TALK to one another about the regularity, the results (children), and the responses of intimacy (Is one experiencing pain, is there a better position, is it just passion or can it be fun?)
Building Blocks for a Good Marriage:
1) Church- REGULARLY attendance in Church should be part of every marriage.
2) Devotions- REGULAR Family Devotions should be a designated part of each day.
3) Separation- Sometimes a "cooling off place" can avoid saying words that will wound deeply- It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman (Proverbs 21:19). Just make sure the "making up mends the matter" once everyone has a time to catch their breath.
4) Combined Activities- Find some things to do TOGETHER EVERY week (Eat out, shop, recreation, etc.).
5) Renewal- PLAN at least two week-ends a year to go somewhere that will enable you to talk about "not normal things", be romantic, and re-connect to the dreams and desires of your mate. This time does not need to be expensive or distant (A friend's vacation home or a local hotel are sometimes all that is needed).
CEREMONY INFORMATION
1. When will the Wedding Ceremony take place? Date: ___________ Time:_________
Who will direct:______________________________
Will another Minister Assist? ____________________________________
2. Where will it take Place? ____________________ Size of Crowd _____
3. Number and type of Special Music (Please be aware that there are some songs I may not allow you to use in a ceremony in which I officiate).
A) ___________________________ B) __________________________
C) ___________________________ D) __________________________
4. One or two rings? ________
5. Will you simply say "I Do" or repeat Vows? _____________
Do you have any special Vows you desire to use? ________
6. When and Where is Rehearsal? ______________________
7. Wedding Certificate must be given to me a week before the ceremony in order to fill it out.
Do you want to use Full Names or common Names during the ceremony?
Names: ______________________________ _____________________________
8. Who will give the Bride away? __________________________
PHOTOS: Please remember that Photos are to be taken only before and after Ceremony (Please cease taking Photos when I begin to talk and resume when the Groom kisses the Bride.) VIDEOS are allowed as long as they are stationary so they will not distract from the Wedding.
ALCOHOL: Of course, you know that I will not be part of any celebration that includes Alcoholic Beverages- Rehearsals, Wedding, or Reception.
QUESTIONS FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM
Please answer all questions the best you can. THIS IS NOT A TEST. It is simply for information. The answers will be discussed among the three of us but no one else will see them. Do not consult with each other as you fill this out.
NAME:____________________________ Age: ________
1. Are you a Christian? _________ How Long? _____________
2. Member of What Church? ________________________________
3. What Church will you attend when you're married? ______________________
4. Have you ever been married before? ____________If Yes give grounds for divorce and date of divorce‑ ___________________________ Date:___________
5. Where are you going to live when married? ______________________
6. Are you Employed? _______ Where? ______________________________
7. What is your approximate MONTHLY income? ___________ What do you think your Total MONTHLY expenses will be (Tithes+ Rent+ Insurance+ Groceries+ car payment+ gas+ etc)? ______________
8. How many Children do you Want? ____ When ___________________
9. Do your parents agree with this marriage? ______ If not, Why Not
_______________________________________________________________
10. What scares you the most about getting Married: (Check all that apply)
() Leaving Home () The Unknowns () Finances ()Sex
() Other‑ ________________________________
[These questions are "Thought" questions and you may not be able to give a specific answer to them]
11. Why do you want to get married? ______________________________
12. What do you expect from your mate to make this marriage successful? _______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________
Are there any Questions you need to ask?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________